Monday, January 03, 2005

Your a star!

And so it finally happened. I'm not really gonna give the back story of why this is funny or entertaining because some people already know who you are. Anyway I have been calling over to and recieving calls from Hemel, England lately for job reasons because I now control the known world or atleast 3Coms known world. Anyway I get a call this morning from Hemel and Charlie(our security officer over there) has locked himself out of the security office and needs to get back in. He apparently left his badge in the office as he went to the bathroom...good job Charlie. So he calls up and asks if I can unlock the door for him from across the pond. Now the neat thing is that I can do this. So I go in and unlock the door from our neat software package and I can hear it unclick over the was neat. Did I mention it was neat? Anyway he says:

"Thanks allot Tim...your a star!"

There it is and it's about damn time. You here that?!? I'M A STAR!

Friday, December 24, 2004

Hour One hundred and forty two

I'm not sure how much longer I can last. The screams from outside the tent are growing louder now and I fear what that could mean. The weather outside is frightful, but the fire inside is simply delightful. I shall soon come close to the sun and I know not what that will mean for the screams outside.

Alright that was random and a little scary. I'm doing quite well as I atleast have the internet to keep me company. I've been heading onto and perusing through the wonderful assortment of horrible stories. Here are some of them:

"That looks like good coffee," she said. "That looks like good pussy," I said.
In retrospect, probably not my best move.


In 6th grade there was a picture in one of those Magic Eye type books (stare at a picture until a image appears. It was a naked torso of a female.
I got pretty good and keeping my eyes the correct orientation to still see the picture while i jacked off to it.


Slightly drunk girls are cute.
Drunk girls are annoying.
Really drunk girls are pathetic.
Extremely drunk girls might screw me.


The Lingering DWI
You’d think I would have learned already. Rather than face my DWI, I avoided and ignored it for well-nigh two years. An arrest warrant is not something that should be taken too lightly, so I put my van in storage and biked everywhere.
My cop buddies, knowing about the arrest warrant, gave me a pass, chatting away quite happily, but if they’d ever seen me driving, things would have been quickly different.
Tired of hiding, I finally face it down. What the fuck was I hiding for? 6 months suspension and a $600 fine. I’m Scottish, so I even faked poverty and parlayed the fine into 50 hours of community work to be completed by the time my suspension finished. Utterly painless, but of course I blew off the community service.
The deadline passed, and I shortly got a letter from the city court. I didn’t bother opening it, because I knew what it said – my arrest warrant was reinstated, and my license suspension was extended until I completed my community service.
Wettest summer in history, with three hurricanes dumping 45” of rain on us. I biked through all of them. Every day when I sat down at my computer, I looked at the letter with a twinge and continued to ignore it, every day for three months.
I ripped it open five minutes ago: It was a friendly reminder that my driving suspension had ended.


Co-Worker Drama

So I'm not sure that my co-worker really likes me all the much. He has said all of maybe 10 words to me and I've been here for almost 4 hours now. I'm not all that concerned about it, but it seems like casual conversation would help the time go by a little quicker. I am firmly resting on the shoulders of boredom now as I write this. I feel that as time goes by I will get closer and closer to the corner of the room and once that happens I'll no choice but to curl up into a small ball and rock back and forth screaming for clarity.

I went out on patrol earlier. Was kinda creepy stalking through the cubicle dungeon. Lights flickering about, strange noises and thumps and me with just a book I found in the third floor kitchen. I'll bash an intruder to death and blame it on commies. Yeah....that sounds like a plan. Or maybe I could bash my co-worker and blame it on commies. His back is turned and he is reading a book of some kind. He would never see it coming. Hmmm....perhaps lack of fresh air is causing some sort of insanity. I think it's time for another butt.

12 Hour Stint

Welcome one and all to my wonderful 12 hour work stint at my new security job. I am now officially checking in at the start of the marathon of boredom. Fox news sits silent infront of me. The alarm monitor lies dead at my feet and my co-worker surfs aimlessly through the web. With all these white walls around me I feel like I'm doing time...penence for some crime. Perhaps it was the time I stole that soda at that store or perhaps the time I started a fire behind my house when I was 10. Whatever it is I'm sure this time will help me to see life clearer and start down the road of becoming that better person that I set out to be at the begining of this here blog thing. With any luck I'll make some more updates as time passes on this wonderful 12 hour stint. Fairwell for now.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Work Related

Alright so I'm gonna get to that part II of that other story, but this was just great so I had to put it in. This goes right into the list of things that could only happen to me...or what I believe could only happen to me. I honestly am astounded at what people will say when you just listen and smile and nod.

So I went in to the Security agency today to start my "training". My "training" consisted of going through a flash based web program that brain washed me into being a good little security officer. Before I started the training though I had a long conversation with my rep about the companies history. He went on and on about when the company was started and their various accomplishments. So he starts talking about how his division is doing the best and that he is basically at the top at the moment which leaves little room for a promotion.

So after explaining to me that he is basically screwed into staying at his current position forever he states: "Who do I have to blow to get a fucking promotion around here?" Exact quote.

Of course I did what I do best which was to continue to stare blankly at him and smile and nod.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Family Interaction

I went and worked with my...well...the person I call butch that is married to my mother. So my mom was driving me to where Butch and I were working today and she said something that stuck with me. As we were pulling into a gas station a car comes zipping by cutting us off. My mom was quick to note that the asians drive too fast.

"Mom? Are you racist?"

"Well...maybe I am, I don't know. All I know is there is too many asians in this town and they are all very ignorant."

A moment of zen.

Later that day as I am working construction with Butch he says something that made me realize why he married my mother.

(in reference to construction work) "If it were easy...women would do it."

All I could do is stare blankly at him as he insisted he had to be right.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Working for a living?!? -- Part I

Alright so I applied for a security position a couple weeks ago. Actually I sent my resume into a security placement company and they happened to have a security position available that suited my "background". I wasn't sure at first why having a deep computer background was helpfull in starring at the ceiling while making sure a building doesn't burn down/get invaded or mysteriously dissapear into a strange void of energy, but I would soon find out. They wanted me to interview down in Marlboro at the 3Com Corporation as a Worlwide Security Monitor. Basically I watch video cameras and other data from all of the 3Com buildings all over the world and ensure everything is hunky dory. It still seems odd to me but apparently this position only recquires a good grasp of the english language and the ability to walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. I was naturally a perfect fit.

Today I had my interview. I woke up early like a good little something that get's up early and is all proud of the fact that it got up early to do something important. I had been told that a suit was required for the interview so I washed my suit(yes...I own a suit) the previous night at my mom's house. I went online and got some directions, tinkered about the house for a while and then decided it was time to wash,dress and get the hell out of my house for my 1PM appointment with my security based destiny.

It was a half hour before I had to leave when I realized that I had not asked my dad the night before how to tie a necktie. Now having no real experience doing it myself I had to figure this out..and I had to figure it out now. As there was no one around I turned to my number one information resouce...yup, the computer. So there I am standing infront of my computer starring blanky at little diagrams showing the process of putting on a necktie.

"Alright...mmph...put wide side A across thin side B and then pull wide side A through the hole in the....FUCK!" This went on for 45 minutes!
I finally got the damn tie on and realized that I was going to be late for my interview because of my tie! So I speed off into the mid day sun to face the destiny that might be a little annoyed that I'm late.

Part II coming soon...

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Dreaming in Code

Alright so it's been a while since i've posted anything up here. I've thought about different things to post, but never get around to it. A friend of mine who needs a blog fix insisted that write something...anything. I had hoped that this blog would be about funny things that happen, but it would seem I have nothing of that sort this time. Instead I am going to ramble about programming issue I am having in an effort to solve me problem by writing it out. Here goes.

NOTE: Some technical jargon will not be explained here.

So I'm writing a small 2D game engine from scratch using SDL and OpenGL. Basically the whole thing is based on the idea of creating a new window and then drawing data inside of it. I have separate classed for different objects that hold information about the objects position, direction and such. Now the drawing needs to be done repeatedly in order to stay up to date...repeatedly is once every millisecond or every 1000th of a second. So in this constant loop I update objects position and direction and anything else that needs updating and then draw it to the screen...again this is all done once every 1000th of a second. I can actually use this 1000th of a second for time so I can add that 1000th of a second or deltaTime(passage of time) to a variable inside the object and once that variable has reached a certain amount it will do an action. Now I spent a great deal of time on some basic mathmetics to handle the main players velocity/position/direction and am pretty happy about that. Here is an example:

//checking if we should slow down or not.
//if the velocity is the same over time then
//we want to slow down...right?
if(elapsedTime > decSpeed)
if(vel[0] == tvel[0])
if(vel[0] < 0.0f){vel[0] += dec;}
if(vel[0] > 0.0f){vel[0] -= dec;}
if(vel[0] > -velTol && vel[0] < velTol) { vel[0] = 0.0f;}
if(vel[1] == tvel[1])
if(vel[1] < 0.0f){vel[1] += dec;}
if(vel[1] > 0.0f){vel[1] -= dec;}
if(vel[1] > -velTol && vel[1] < velTol) { vel[1] = 0.0f;}
elapsedTime = 0.0f;
//capping the velocity
if(vel[0] > maxVel)
vel[0] = maxVel;
else if(vel[0] < -maxVel)
vel[0] = -maxVel;
if(vel[1] > maxVel)
vel[1] = maxVel;
else if(vel[1] < -maxVel)
vel[1] = -maxVel;
if(rot > 360){rot = 0.0f;}
//now that we have calculated what the velocity
//should be we can apply it to the position
pos.x += -sin( degtoRad(rot) ) * vel[1] * deltaTime;
pos.y += cos( degtoRad(rot) ) * vel[1] * deltaTime; //deltaTime * vel[1] * cos(double(rot));
pos.z += deltaTime * vel[2];
tvel[0] = vel[0];
tvel[1] = vel[1];
elapsedTime += deltaTime;

Exciting ain't it? Anyway the whole thing came to a head when I tried to write a projectile class. Bullets for the laymen out there. I realized that where I was creating objects rapidly upon firing I needed a way to be able to update them all. So what I am doing is as each bullet is created it is put into a list of projectiles. Then when we do our updating and drawing we reference the list and update the position/direction of all the bullets in the list. When a bullet is off the screen or has cause a collision we can destroy it and remove it from the list. I am having a bitch of a time writing this as the list needs to be able to reference more than just bullets at some point in time. What I fear I may have to do is start over from the beginning and write the object list code first and then tie in all the objects to that list as I write those. I think that makes sense. I can reuse most of my code, but doing the rewrite will be helpful and make the whole thing much more efficient.

So that is what I have been doing as of late. If you have read down this far I congratulate you for you are a true friend or just simply bored out of your mind and reading this dry document is some form of entertainment. Either way thanks for bearing with me. Until Next Time.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Getting adjusted

I have recently been blessed with a new apartment. Finally I have space of my own and I have to say it's quite nice other than the fact that I have no idea how I'm going to afford it. I totally need a job.

Now the other big change in having my own space is the idea of having a bed. Now as many know I've been sleeping on a couch for about 6 years so I was a little curious how I would adapt to sleeping in a real bed. The first couple of nights were a little painful, but I quickly learned to adapt. However, over the weekend I had a couple of bed related "incidents".

When I use to sleep on the couch I had a tendency to sleep on my left side so that my back was comfortably wedged into the back of the couch. Now this also gave me to comfort of being able to see the doorway so that I could see coming attackers. Now that I am sleeping in the bed there is a wall infront of me when I sleep on my left side, but I find I'm not all that worried about attackers as I can close and lock the door to the bedroom I now reside in. So I go to bed late on friday night as I have a tendency to do. In the early morning of saturday I hear a strange noise that awakens me slightly from my slumber. I am sleeping on my left side as I also have a tendency to do. After hearing the noise I quickly dart up and shove my head forward to look at the doorway. SMACK! Forgetting that the doorway has been replaced by a solid wall I slam my head right into it. I rub my head slightly as I chuckle a bit and then drift off back to sleep.

Saturday I go to bed late as I have a tendency to do. Once again it is the early hours of another day I have decided to waste. I only have one pillow to my name at the moment and as sleeping on one pillow is uncomfortable to me I have to find a substitute for a second pillow. My old laptop inside it's case worked perfectly. So getting back to the early hours of sunday morning I find myself tossing and turning as I also have a tendency to do. I lift myself up...look straight into the pillow and then let go and let gravity do the rest. I fell back into the pillow and discovered that instead of the bliss I was expecting I was greeted by an overwhelming pain as my neck twisted in a most discomforting way. I quicky lay still and the pain disapates. The moment I try to move my head again, however, the pain come back in full force. I begin to realize that I can't really move at all without extreme pain to my neck. I figure this is a problem for a later time so I go back to sleep. Waking a couple hours later I try to move and realize that the pain is still there. This time however I am confronted with the fact that I must deal with the problem now as I need to go to the bathroom. Hmm...what to do. Ten minutes of subtle manipulation and testing later I finally emerge from the bed. My head is tilted to one side as I walk slowly to the bathroom. Any quick subtle motion of my head brings more pain.

As I stand there trying to go to the bathroom and hold my neck at the same time I realize that my couch would never have betrayed me like this. I miss my couch.